If you love...You will grieve.
That grief will come in waves. It’s not like you’ll grieve for an hour, a day, or a week and then magically it’s gone. I would even challenge that there are in fact more than five stages of it.
Grief is not linear and does not discriminate. It matters not how many possessions you have, how much money you make, what physical attributes you have. It isn’t phased by the shade of your skin, how giving your heart is, or how deep your wounds are. It isn’t attached to what higher power you answer too or if you claim none at all.
When you grieve, you grieve every anniversary. You grieve a little more with every special occasion, then a little more when your favorite shared artist comes across the airwaves or you catch a glimpse of someone who resembles.
Then just when you think your grief bucket is empty, you will yet again ride the wave when you spot their favorite cookies in the grocery store. You will grieve when you order pizza and leave off their favorites, and when paddling quietly in your kayak on the lake. You may even grieve as you sip your morning coffee and plan out your errands for the day….Grief comes in waves. Some of those waves are gentle and unsuspecting, others are brutal.
Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this terrain. There are stretches that will feel safe, and corners that will frighten you.
Time won’t necessarily “heal” it, still life will expand around it, and at some point the pain will be buffered by an expanding life which continues to unfold with each passing sunrise and sunset.
Trust the balance in the blur, Teri
