COACHING & COUNSELING (Continued)
Individual • Couple • Family
Habitual Head Space and Negative Thinking
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We can get stuck in cycles of rinse and repeat patterns, auto pilot if you will. Before we know it, entering a bonded relationship with limited thinking, numbing and self-sabotage.
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Addiction is an intertwining of untruths, fear, loss and unresolved grief which often results in a desire to numb.
​​Addiction (bonding as I call it) isn’t just chemical drug or alcohol substance. Other drugs of choice look like: Sex, shopping, social media, cell phones, video games, work, working out, food, anger....
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​The process isn’t simply spewing affirmations or faking it until you make it.
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It’s understanding why your brain imprinted as it did and how to effectively navigate current patterning while actively recoding the brain to work for you, not against.
​This is done by diving into any thoughts or words you consciously or otherwise speak to yourself and others.
Learn to call bull-shit on habits that leave you feeling defeated while leaning into your emotional elasticity.
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Willingness, accountability and self-kindness accompanied with a healthy commitment and realistic plan of action will shift your life. Are you ready to build and live a happier, healthier life? ​​​
Grief and Loss
Loss is what we experience - Grief is what we feel. Western culture doesn’t necessarily embrace the importance of grieving. In fact, we’re often encouraged to hurry the process or dismiss it entirely by staying busy, eating something or moving on.
This emotionally constipated approach leaves us wrestling to connect the head and heart space and often times bullying ourselves into thinking we’re taking too much time.
I explore Grief and Loss with clients in 3 primary ways. Gently navigating the expected and sometimes unforeseen pockets of the grief process from beginning to end.
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End of life grief/loss: When someone you love passes. When you are in the process of losing a loved one or when you yourself are in the active stages of nearing end of life.
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Living loss: When you experience loss and grief as a result of life unfolding. Defined as but not limited to, Loss of job, a miscarriage, empty nest, leaving for college, retirement, divorce, identity. Loss can also be found in diagnosis, adoption, loss of independence, a pet or maybe you just feel meh and not quite sure why.
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Little Loss: defined a subtle yet direct losses often throughout childhood that are pivotal in how we navigate adulthood. Loss in areas such as security, trust or voice. Fear of isolation, abandonment. Even people pleasing, caregiving and being parentified as a child.
Most of us have heard of the 5 Stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. Dr. Kubler-Ross created this model to gage the grieving process of individuals who were actively dying. While you may experience a few of the 5 Stages in your living or little losses, they are not necessarily applicable as both living and little losses are based on experience, not human death or transition.
As we understand and navigate your grief and loss we work together pulling from the past (but not staying there) and blueprinting your next chapter. While grief and loss do change our lives and there is a period of grieving, we don’t necessarily have to grieve forever. It’s okay to not be okay, and it’s okay to feel alive again.
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Pain and disconnect can quickly become our normal if not addressed. Let’s create a blueprint to comfortably guiding you in asking for what you need and take care of yourself.
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While Grief and Loss are inevitable, they are experiences, not destinations. Grief is often a taboo topic, I’m here to help change that.
Effective Communication
Often we find ourselves triggered (activated) and our knee jerk response is to hammer home our point. We do this in an effort to be understood, heard or respected.
The issue with this approach is often we spiral into a nonsensical tit for tat leaving all involved frustrated, overwhelmed and feeling unappreciated, unheard even disrespected.
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Effective communication affords clarity as well clearly and effectively express our needs. Learning to hold space for one another and work towards a resolution affords hopeful over hopeless.
​Our primary communication skills are imprinted at an early age. Some of those imprints stunt our ability to effectively communicate. We can ALL learn to maintain healthy, non-aggressive dialogue when we choose to show up willing and self-aware.
10% of conflict is a difference in opinion. The remaining 90% is a result of tone and non-verbal expression. Let’s unpack that.
Emotional Regulation
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Emotional regulation Is the ability to manage, understand, and respond to emotions in a healthy and appropriate way. It’s the process of navigating and recognizing your feelings while identifying triggers, and using conscious strategies to reframe perspective while building and utilizing constructive action steps and mindfulness rather than reacting impulsively. ​
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Let’s be real, we know that impulsivity can crack our foundation and leave us feeling raw, exposed, helpless and frustrated.
Why It Matters?
Your Mental Well-being: ER Promotes emotional stability and helps us cope with stress.
Solid Healthy Relationships: ER Improves communication, conflict resolution skills and boundary setting with others.
Your Personal Growth: ER fosters internaL resilience (bounce back time) and enriches our ability to adapt to life's curveballs, potholes and unexpected road blocks
Together we will blue print a skill set which will leave you feeling clarity, peace of mind and confident in your emotional intelligence and ability to maintain a level head.
Commitment to the process positions affords you a skill-sets and navigate expected and unexpected obstacles with patience, self-kindness and understanding.
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The "Littles"
Matryoshka Dolls, Stacking Dolls and Nesting Dolls are the perfect representation for our multi age levels and experiences in our lifetime, I call them Littles. Understanding how our unchecked loss, trauma, neglect, unmet needs and imprinting play a role in our lives is crucial. Left unaddressed, we can find ourselves acting out, going inward and ultimately abandoning and bullying ourselves while at the same time attracting unhealthy people and experiences.​​
Littles represent our lifespan from infancy to adulthood. Each experience imprinted in the tapestry of our makeup. Unhealthy imprints left un-addressed inevitably create what I call uncomfortable comfortable pockets. Like the nesting dolls they stack snuggly inside the next and by the time we reach adulthood we have multiple experiences dictated by a fear, guilt, shame or anger our Little is still stuck with. Anxiousness, helplessness, frustration, feeling overwhelmed or full of shame are just a few of their feelings.
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These physical and emotional messengers travel upward as our resting littles struggle to feel safe with a false sense of protection.
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Reparenting ourselves allows a deeper understanding of how and why we show up as we do.
In addition, it allows us to adjust and maybe for the first time ever, really accept ourselves.
Do you recognize how they present in your adult life? Passive aggressiveness, manipulation, anger, defensiveness and shame,shyness, sarcasm, humor, co-dependency, hyper independence.
Even the healthiest folks find themselves in stagnant, toxic waters from time to time. Webring a part of our past into everything we do; our giggles and grins, our pensiveness,our unresolved grief/loss and our emotions. At any point in our life we can become activated by one or many, leaving us feeling stuck, unheard, fearful of moving forward.
Together we can reconnect you with what invites health and happiness back into your life, maybe for the first time ever.
End of Life Doula
Our society hasn’t yet created space or a comfortable understanding around death and actively dying. All too often individuals leave this world unable to clearly express or advocate their final wishes.
My role it to create clarity around full circle transitioning from Wills, Power or
Attorneys, Medical POA, DNR, Last Rites, Burial vs. Cremation, funeral vs. Celebration of Life. ​
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Important fine details are covered including the final stages of what to expect when you (or your loved one) is actively dying:
educating on how the body
begins the process of shutting down, what to expect as the body releases and lets go.
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As an End-of-Life Doula I educate families on how to hold space for their loved one while also taking care of themselves mentally, emotionally and physically. Understanding
emotions, triggers, collective grief and at times unpleasant emotional markers
depending on family dynamics.
In addition, I work with family/friends to better understand, what their options
are for next steps, ensuring their loved one’s wishes and life are honored.
​Honor, Integrity and Understanding
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